Nakamura Hiro's blog

Written by Nakamura Hiro

Are choices and regrets endless?

  People regret it. It's safe to say that people regret it. It's because I think that I made a mistake as a result of choosing something by myself, such as going on to school, getting a job, or getting married.

 At that time, if I was married to that person, if I was running that company, if I went to that university, I should have bought that product, and so on. Most of the time, it's because of their own mistakes. ‥

 When it is difficult now, I look back and think about it. It's a natural feeling. However, for some people, I think it is too much. If I do anything, I will regret first and reflect on it.
I think some people are always dissatisfied and regret about the past even if they think that they are successful enough. Such people are usually dissatisfied with their current life and often do not make contact with themselves.

 However, on the other hand, it is also proof that the act of choosing something in various aspects of life is difficult. However, even with the same choices, there are a wide variety of things, from the important thing of finding employment to the trivial choices in daily life, such as selecting ingredients for dinner.

  Naturally, the more irrelevant the choice for me, the less regretful the person becomes. Even if you think that meat at that supermarket was 10 yen cheaper, you'll be instantly forgotten when you enter your stomach.

 However, the story is completely different when you get a job. After I joined the company and worked hard, I realized that I was about to die. The company I chose was a black company. Regret for the first time and reflect. I wondered why I didn't take it seriously because I had a job offer from a white company at the time.

 It is said that the more serious a choice is, the slower the regret will be because the psychologically famous "Concorde effect (Thanks effect)" works.

 The Concorde effect is a situation where you know that it will be a loss to continue to invest financially, mentally, and temporally in a certain object, but when the investment made up to that point is wasted, you can not stop it. .
In other words, I regret to regret it. And it is the movement of heart that tries to convince oneself.

 "I'm sweet", "I'm not working hard enough", and even in situations where I'm put up, "It's the same wherever I go." "Any job is interesting." "Patience here." "Educate." "This is a member of society." "I'm just spoiled."

 However, no matter how much I convince myself with such brain conversation and self-brainwashing, when I wake up in the morning, I am dying to go to the office. I have a pain in my head and stomach. No matter how much you try to persuade yourself, your body will not be able to speak. Even so, I try to persuade him to go further.

 If this continues every day, one day suddenly my thoughts will crash. I just quit thinking. I think it's in a "depressed" state.

 The depression story that people are basically depressed will come later, and the more people make serious choices and the more they regret, the more they will try to persuade themselves in order to come to terms with reality.

 How to break this unbroken chain, I will leave it because there are many psychological books that make it academic and medical, and I will give it to you. I think accepting.
Looking back at the time, even if there seem to be many other options, if you return to the same situation, people will definitely make the same choice. And in the same way I regret. Of course, if you reflect on it at this point, it may be said that you will be able to make a mistake when a similar situation comes in the future, but the exact same situation will never come. I think it's life.

 No matter how much you regret and regret, the person does not change much. In the novel "Dance Dance Dance", Haruki Murakami called that unchanging choice "the tendency" of the person. When people are forced to make similar choices, they always make similar choices, because the stacks make up themselves.

 Therefore, I have no body to say this, but I should never regret it, even if I regret it before the Concorde effect was exerted, when I made a big choice. And don't think your choice is a big business in your life.

 Then, if you feel really painful, escape before you crash at the end of self-brainwashing. If you still can't escape, if you compare it to a company again, "let's start job hunting", "let's get a qualification", "let's do our best in union activities", the current difficulty and the urgent desire to escape I think it's a good dialectic solution.

 As long as a person is alive, people must continue to make choices throughout their lives, from today's ingredients to those who die. Choice is life. If you regret and regret your choices, people will gradually become discouraged and avoid the choices themselves. In other words, no choice.

 The destination recommended by the teacher, the employment where there was a connection. Marriage partner of marriage introduction service selected by computer. This restaurant has a high reputation for reviews. Surgery because a doctor finds a tumor and recommends it. Life extension treatment because my family says. Then, life tends to be left to the hands of others, and the Concorde effect is more likely to be exerted.
In a sense, this is also a renunciation of living. So don't let go of what you have to choose. And even if I regret it, I don't regret it.

 And for the time being, take the minimum responsibility for the selected “result”, “thing”, “thing”, and “other party”. And forget about regret. I think that's the way to associate forever with choice and regret.

 Nakamura was surprised to write a remorse sentence at school, but wrote it as a remorse sentence for not reflecting.
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