nakamura hiro’s blog

Written by nakamura hiro

What are you thinking when you can't sleep?

 It's hard to sleep, isn't it? I've been insomnia since I was little.


 At that time, people who can't sleep understand, but I'm trying to go into bed and try to sleep, but I can't sleep and turn right on the bed, turn left, and repeat it, torture Such a rumbling begins.

 Thinking about what I had today, relationships, what I had to go to school tomorrow, and what could happen, all of these things forever linger in my head.

 And such negative thoughts became even more negative, and even at midnight, I felt like I was alone in the world, and I started thinking about the worst.

 I can hear the sound of parents sleeping first. Then panic.
 I intentionally make a noise and try to make my parents worried to see me, my sister to wake me up, and I try to hit my hand to escape from being alone.
However, even if my parents actually get up, I just get angry that I should go to bed early. My sister just plainly dislikes it.


 On the contrary, what happened if you were worried? Even if asked, the words do not come out well. I just silently weep.
 The spiciness that I said was just a depiction of the feelings of the young protagonist at the beginning of Proust's “In Search of the Lost Time”. He was waiting in bed for his mother to come back (although not so persistently).


 After all the steps were taken, the only thing I could do was to flee into fantasy.
And I was sleeping with a miniature light bulb in the child's room, but with the eyes that tears bleed due to the difficulty of sleeping, I can think about this while watching the orange light grow and shrink. Was an annual convention.


 It was an adventure object, science fiction object, fantasy object, cartoon spin-off object, almost in rotation.


 Thinking about that, I finally got a slight sleep. However, when I grow a little more, I remember listening to late-night radio programs, baseball night games, and FM broadcasts, so I remember staying up late at night, but I still feel cold sweat when I remember the pain at this time. Will come.


 Now that I am an adult, if I sometimes do not drink alcohol due to my physical condition, I will start to feel sick due to lack of sleep the next day, and I will start to purify in another sense.
 This doesn't change no matter how old you are.


 Despite the fact that I don't panic, mysteriously I can't escape from fantasy as much as I used to.
More than that, the fact that I can't sleep is more frustrating.


 Rather than escaping into a daydream, I start to seriously think about why people have to sleep, what is the difference between sleeping and dying, and so on.
 I myself have read some insomnia books so far.
Among them, as a theory to convince yourself when you can not sleep,
Once people are at risk of being attacked by foreign enemies, and it is originally so that they cannot sleep completely. I was supplementing it with a nap.


 If you lie down and calmly prepare your breath without getting a good night's sleep, you will have the same effect as sleeping.
Approximately 30 minutes of sleep is enough to reset head fatigue.


 You only need to do non-REM sleep 1 hour and 30 minutes twice.
It is something like. And with that theory, instead of telling them that you don't have to sleep, you're still standing still.


 At that time, I feel like this. How many adults can go to bed regularly and at regular times every day without the help of alcohol and sleep naturally for the exact amount of time needed? .. And what else do you think about besides your worries?
 Is it fancy to run away? .. Will you plan your trip? .. Will you still count the number of sheep? .. I wonder.


  Recently, when I was unable to sleep despite various theories and imaginations, I came to the conclusion that after all, I just woke up until I became drowsy.
Despite that, it was Nakamura who had never been able to stay up all night.
 see you